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108 Responses

  1. Lina Elliott Lina Elliott says:

    Personally our system sucks. From personal expierence I’ve been begging for two years for children services to step in on my current situation. The family law system sucks all around in Canada.
    People only act once it’s to late…
    And that includes children services.
    You want change, be that change.

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  2. Jodi Flatt Jodi Flatt says:

    Very good point.

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  3. I almost posted a question about what happens to all the “stuff” that gets left on these memorials but didn’t as I didn’t think it was the right place to ask but thank you for posting this! I feel like this is 100% spot on and needed. Not too sure many people really think about what to do or how to “pay respects” with a purpose. 🙂

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  4. Great reminder, Zebra and Little Warriors are also REALLY GREAT choices.

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  5. “I’m not ______ BUT” means you really are and I’m not reading any further. Go crawl back into your cave, Troll.

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  6. I will gladly donate into forcing sterilization of certain demographics so they stop producing kids they abuse.

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    • your mother should of been sterilized

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    • Raven Greyeyes-Mineault, you think people with a history of alcohol/drug abuse, prison, violence or past history of child abuse should be allowed to have more kids? Really? This poor young boy never had a chance.

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    • Certain demographics?

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    • Kim Schindel Kim Schindel says:

      So the residential school aftermath is still affecting generations of first nations people….it doesn’t only affect the generation that were ripped from their homes…it will last generations to come. How does the government propose to fix the systematic abuse they created when they took these children without permission?

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    • Kim Schindel, you are way off base but I expected to start to see responses like yours. However, let’s talk about what you posted. Yes, what happened to first nations people was horrible and a true atrocity but when we look at the history of crime against humanity we don’t always see raging alcoholism destroying the communities it targeted. The Jewish and the Japanese picked themselves up and rebuilt their lives and communities even without generations of govt financial support. But I do know that when it comes to personal responsibility, when someone chooses drugs or alcohol to destroy their lives, they made that choice themselves. Absolutely nobody else made them go into a liquor store and purchase that bottle and forced it down their throats. The father of that little boy made his own bad life decisions and the baby is now dead. It’s the fault of the father, not the government.

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    • It’s pretty pathetic how people blame a whole “demographic” for one monsters actions!! And Isn’t the gf who helped him white?? What a stupid thing to say! I have kids and I love my kids, my demographic has nothing to do with it. It’s called humanity. These people who did this are monsters.

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    • Laura Lavallee, dear, read my response to Raven. I detailed what demographics I was talking about, not what you are assuming.

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    • Kim Schindel Kim Schindel says:

      Shawna de Barrientos…did your family attend residential schools as mine did? Do you have any idea of the generational dysfunction cased by these schools. Btw…the Japanese and Jewish were not placed on reservations either.

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    • It’s easy to “assume” What you are talking about. Maybe edit your comments then my dear because you come off as a racist, ignorant, insensitive asshole.

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    • Kim Schindel, I grew up alongside two first nations reserves and grew up with victims of residential schools and their children. I saw my brilliant classmates drop out of school one by one to the personal choice of young parenthood and alcoholism. It broke my heart. The victims of these schools were beautiful and amazing. I know many who do not understand why their kids turned to alcohol when they themselves did not. My step mother lost her family in a Jewish concentration camp, she came to Canada to live with extended family who abused her. She never drank or did drugs. My mother came from a family of alcoholics and she died as one too. My siblings and I never chose to follow her path despite the odds. The victim mentality ruins lives. It’s very important to choose otherwise even if it takes everything that you’ve got and takes your whole life to turn it around.

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    • That’s a sad story Shawna, but it’s irrelevant and no excuse to use a little boys death to spew hate speech towards a whole race……smh.

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    • Laura Lavallee, like I said, it is YOU who is assuming I meant a whole race. I shake my head to you, Laura. I will pray for your peace and healing.

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    • you are no fucking better than any drug addict or alcoholic… these people were not given/taught the skills to cope …most of it stems from trauma. Maybe when people stop being so shitty to one another and try come from a place of compassion and love then things will get significantly better; however, it is perspectives such as yours (and many others I’m sure) that spread like a sickness because that is what it is…sick. Grow the fuck up!

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    • Lol thats funny because all your comments are directed towards natives…shake your head all you want I hope you shake some sense into it.

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    • Shawna de Barrientos and if your mothers family was sterilized like you think should happen to other people you would’t exist so please start using your brain for the betterment of your children.

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    • I can’t believe this comment has 3 likes.

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    • Laura Lavallee, my original comments weren’t directed towards first nations people at all. I only responded further to the racist, assumptive posts I was being hypocritically accused of making.

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    • Raven Greyeyes-Mineault, my sibs and I chose to stop the chain of generational alcoholism for the betterment of ourselves and our children. We were still poor and had to claw our way through life like everyone else but we did it SOBER!!!

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    • Don’t backtrack. It’s disgustingly obvious what you meant in your original comment and in all your comments. Anyways I’m finished here. Have a great day.

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    • Shawna you win the award for the most racist comment on this thread along with the 3 who liked your comment! Congrats loser!

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    • Laura Lavallee, BTW, if I was racist towards people with indigenous blood, I wouldn’t be married to one. My husband has full native blood, not a trace of caucasian in him. My husband was raised with his cousins because the uncle killed the aunt in a drunken rage and his parents took in the kids. He rose above the odds too; went to medical school, traveled the world, learned three languages by staying sober. He did that as a personal choice. I am very proud of him. He’s one of the best people I know.

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    • You do realize that everyone deals with trauma differently right? Also some are not fortunate enough to recieve the support that they need to deal with abuse which is often the reason people turn to alcohol and drugs. Sterilization is not going to help at all. What people need is more support and education. The government needs to step up and help people get treatment and find the resources so they can get past what ever they are going through. Stop being so judgemental.

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    • Merissa Atkinson, Are you saying the father should get counselling and have another chance to have a child he may or may not murder? You are right that our govt does need to make more supportive services available to all tax brackets but I think in this case, that young man should lose any future chances to be a parent.

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    • Jennye Blain Jennye Blain says:

      Lol, Shawna de Barrientos perhaps you would benefit from some education? Try reading ‘the legend of sugar girl’ by Joseph Boyden, for starters, and listen to people, everyone is telling you the same thing, perhaps actually ingesting the information and reviewing your comments here could help you see the racism you claim doesn’t exist… you seem anxious not to be perceived as racist, but seem unaware of the racism you demonstrate…

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    • Kim Schindel Kim Schindel says:

      So your answer to my question Shawna de Barrientos is….no. My father’s grandparents also fled in the 40’s during the war …has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

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  7. It would be a great idea if someone collected all the gifts, wash and dry them and donate them to the Zebra foundation for other little boys and girls, also it would be a great idea to Honour Baby Anthony with a Program through the Zebra by naming a Donation of Teddy Bears and gifts to give to other Children of abuse and for children of the Stollery as well

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    • Unfortunately those organizations only taken new items and often not stuffed toys.

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    • I don’t think it’d be possible with the stuffed animals due to mold possibilities from being left outside and getting wet.

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    • Cindy Mason Cindy Mason says:

      Putting the toys in a clear plastic bag would protect them from the elements

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    • since the stuffies were placed in honor of this child – it would be up to the family to decide what to do with it all-going in and washing drying cleaning everything to donate without consent would be disrespectful. I agree something needs to done but at this point its too raw and emotional for the family to be making any such decisions at this time. I am sure the city or perhaps the church will act when the time is right in conjunction with the family.

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  8. Cloudy Cloud Cloudy Cloud says:

    curious who wrote this one lol

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  9. I’m hoping the family gathers it all up and put it on his lil grave!

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    • That family couldn’t even keep that sweet baby boy safe … I doubt they will
      Collect anything ( but the money ) for him …

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    • Jennye Blain Jennye Blain says:

      Yikes, Ashley Anderson, that’s evil!
      That poor woman was doing everything right, going to school to be a better mom and provide her child a better life, and because society failed to provide a decent support system, she lost the most a person can lose in life.
      And people like you are the reason such tragedies happen. Please review your life choices and try to be a benefit rather than a curse.

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  10. I think people should be allowed to mourn how they wish without someone else telling them what they should do.

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    • Jennye Blain Jennye Blain says:

      So if someone’s grief leads them to kill the youngest child in each neighbour’s home, that should be allowed? Think a bit.

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    • That’s a ridiculous example and everyone knows that kind of thing wasn’t what I was talking about. Go be a wench somewhere else.

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    • Jennye Blain Jennye Blain says:

      No it isn’t. Your ignorant claim that “people should be allowed to mourn how they wish” is ridiculous. You literally are saying that if a person is mourning, they should be allowed to do as they wish. You are saying that people can keep their dead in their homes, bring them out in public, kill, steal, and break any law, etc., if they are in mourning.
      Do you understand how absurd that is?

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    • Lol no I didn’t. If you’re smart enough to get to this forum, you’re smart enough to understand what I meant. You know what I meant, and you’re too old to be pulling this crap. Grow up Jennye.

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  11. I guess i am just frustrated these days. I hear to may child killings. I understand the mom was young so the dad took the child. I just dont understand. If you really dont want the child. Give the child to someone that cant have kids. That can care for the baby and can afford to give these kids a good happy life! You should never feel shameful of doing this. This is an act of bravery. Just like killing kids to get back at the other parent. You are robbing these kids of living. So frustrating!

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    • Beth Martin Beth Martin says:

      That’s part of the problem now. Too many don’t want to give their babies up as some in society look down on them for doing so.

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    • sometimes it is simple as people having an informal agreement when it comes to parenting and thinking the other partner will do their job properly. If they have informal agreement then some may feel it will prevent the courts from getting involved and decision of the children will be just between the parents. Other times like the mother who sons were murdered by their father recently…the courts came into the equation even though the father did not have much contact with the children and decided he deserve to even though the mother had reservations about it.

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    • Beth Martin I agree and it should never be frowned upon.

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  12. FYI that isn’t true. They are cleaned and normally donated.

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  13. Litter really ? Get a grip.

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  14. Kids Kottage is another great one we don’t hear of too often but they may have just been the type of Center this family needed that Anthony would have been safe in.

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  15. Leave flowers or a smudge, something natural.. balloons are one of the worst things to leave as they get into lakes and streams and animals swallow them when deflated.

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  16. I always thought wouldnt it be nice if the toys etc were given to the family to help them with the grieving process after the funeral. I remember seeing a lady who lost her daughter while serving for her country. She received so many beautiful tributes and items that she made a little room and put up everything. Once people found out including service people they came from everywhere to share their stories and it helped her through the grieving process.

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  17. I did not know Anthony and my heart hurts so much for the brutality of this senseless tragedy! I cannot wrap my head around why someone would do this to a child. If anyone suspects any child is being neglected or abused, it is your duty as a human being to speak up and stop protecting the abuser! You can donate here for all the brave little warriors to help stop child abuse!
    Sorry for screenshot

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  18. I agree with you. I was just talking about this saying that it’s better to donate a toy or money to a hospital!
    So, well said !

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  19. That is not true at least in my case it wasn’t… I lost my daughter back in 2000, she was the little girl that was hit by an ETS bus… People and kids came and dropped off bears, cards, flowers, etc.. And on the day of the funeral all those items were brought too the church and were placed all over the church.. And when the ceremony was over my family collected all those items and brought them too me… Today I still have all the items left, I cherish them as I know some kids gave thier favourite toy’s that day and even thou those were dark days I would look at everything and it brought me some comfort, in knowing that my daughter touched so many lives…

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  20. I would like individuals to understand what grief is like. I speak as someone who has lost a daughter and has done a lot of caregiving over the years. The reason memorials are set up is for the family, in this case one that has suffered a tragic loss. It is an immediate show to the family of love , comfort and respect.
    The poster does have good points about donations etc to various groups. Donations are always welcome at any time and greatly appreciated by these groups. Please understand the when a loved one passes that pain of loss is something we carry everyday, especially when it’s the loss of a child. The memorial is a visual memory that helps the family heal. I encourage everyone to resource and support the groups mentioned in the post. To the poster your heart is in the right place, and I believe that the items that were place for Anthony are going to be looked after.

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    • Jen Brown Jen Brown says:

      Sadly, the toys are put in the trash as they are not safe to give to a child after being out in the element.. placing Candles and Flowers is the better thing to do.

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    • Jennye Blain Jennye Blain says:

      Don’t you love people who assume they are the only ones who understand or experience grief? Is there anything more condescending than someone claiming that items left as memorial would somehow be magically “looked after”?
      Wth was the point of this comment? Smdh.

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    • The important thing is not the fact the things end up in the garbage. What is of utmost importance is the fact what putting those gifts at the sites does for people’s feelings/grieving. The pros of the gifts being placed at the sites of victims greatly outweighs the cons. Let’s leave well enough alone.

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  21. Heaven List Heaven List says:

    I heard on a group that all the toys that the family didn’t keep would be donated to shelters or hospitals ?

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  22. Jennye Blain Jennye Blain says:

    The mom did want and love him, but in order to go to school, she had to leave him with his father. She never dreamed such a thing would happen, it wasn’t that she “couldn’t raise him”, she was doing everything society told her to. Society failed this family, and tearing a family apart because society can’t be bothered to provide families the support they need is despicable.

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  23. Lyn Hessels Lyn Hessels says:

    People express their grief in different ways. There is no right or wrong way.

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  24. Naima Geyd Naima Geyd says:

    I know what I meant is the damn father and girlfriend… Why they ha to do that! Sad,scary and heartbreaking! Condolences to the mother and family!

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  25. People mourn in different ways and it us not my business to tell them how to do it. The thing to keep in mind is people are mourning….for a child they don’t know. I prwfer to think about the love, compassion, sympathy being shown, and what a beautiful thing that is.

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  26. Marie Krista Marie Krista says:

    I think your post is great and I agree with you however leaving a flower is a beautiful idea it will just eventually fade away. Much like the story surrounding this baby, it’s a very sad thing that happened many many people are angry right now because they want answers. But real flowers are a awesome idea because they do not need to be disposed of, it’s nobody’s mess to clean.

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  27. Lori Moses Lori Moses says:

    Don’t be so blunt n ignorant leave his toys alone maybe the families can decide not you smh

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  28. Kerry Lynn Kerry Lynn says:

    I personally hadn’t looked at it from that perspective. Thanks for mentioning it.

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  29. Believe it or not, you can do both. I find the images of teddy bears and cards left at the location a visual reminder of the tragedy. It takes a village to raise a child, and the village is allowed to mourn the way it wants when it loses one.

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    • Joan Warren Joan Warren says:

      I understand but I would like to know where the village was that knew this family and abuse?

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    • Joan Warren I agree. Where was this Village. Why didnt anyone see signs of abuse? My daughter caught wind of this story and she wanted to put a Stuffie on the sight for her own way of giving. Nothing wrong with doing both.

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    • Joan Warren Joan Warren says:

      No nothing wrong at all bless her

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    • Mourning is not something that should need reminder ! And it certainly doesn’t do one thing for this lil guy all those toys and teddy bears he will never ever be able to touch or play with ! It was while he was alive that society should have noticed d did something for his life and many more others like him out there ! He will be forgotten about in the next few days ! Mark my words he will be forgotten about and then all those toys have only fixed the hearts of every person who has placed anything there ! We all still nothing but people who don’t look not hear anyone else’s pain not tragic life they must live because we all allow this type of thing u til the next time ! Then all will run out to buy a teddy bear or a toy to fix thier own hearts !

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    • Every time a child is abused, we are to blame. Sure, there are 2 people that are directly responsible for his death, but this apparently wasn’t the first incidence. That’s why I hate it when people say, “Mind your own business”, because if someone would have intervened at some point maybe he would be alive today.

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    • No I don’t have a say but I don’t have to like it either ! If that teddy bears has help this lil guy and u feel that it did .. then so be it .. but I see this shit in a different light ! I see it for what it really is !

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    • Lynda Desjarlais Its nice to know that you think that people that mourn that way are “shit” And I never said that the teddy bears helped the little guy – but it helps the community heal.

      Last time I visited New York City I stood at the 9/11 memorial and read some of the names of those who died. I didn’t turn around and say, “This is shit because it doesn’t help those that died.”

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    • Abra Shaw Abra Shaw says:

      I think this horrible situation is a reminder that this stuff does happen:( more than most people realize. If anything can be taken from this awful situation, I think it can educate people about the signs of abuse and neglect. When you know better, you can do better. I think that people can lay stuffies, flowers, notes or whatever. It brings people together in a time of tragedy, which people need in such a time. It is no different than leaving flowers on a grave. Its respect and honour to the deceased.

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    • I do bcoz that’s exactly what it is ! How the heck is that mourning buddy ! How did it fix anything ?? Why didn’t u look when he really needed someone ? I’m a native and I have lived the same shit this lil guy has and no body noticed then and no body listens now ! So why are u trying to tell me how to think nor mourn ! You don’t get to just place a bloody toy there and call that mourning bcoz like the list says .. it all becomes nothing but garbage and that’s what’s in many people’s hearts .. the same garbage they placed at that sight ! So yes ! I think it’s all messed up this world ! Are you gunna call me on that too ??

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    • Lynda Desjarlais I am not telling YOU how to mourn. You have it backwards. If you want to donate, donate. If you want to place a teddy bear, place a teddy bear.

      The big difference is that I said WE ALL FAILED HIM.

      Everything becomes garbage in the end. Earth to earth and dust to dust. Its what we do in between that matters.

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    • Abra Shaw Abra Shaw says:

      Alden, well said!!! When it comes to child abuse and neglect, kids need a voice, as they can’t do it on their own. It becomes everyone’s business to protect any child that is suspected of being abused. I have called social services before on people I didn’t even know. Not my business? Fuck that, if i see a child with signs if abuse your damn right im making that call. If sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong could potentially save a childs life….. sorry, NOT sorry

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    • Karen Surry Karen Surry says:

      Lynda Desjarlais sorry for whatever happened in your life but instead of letting bitterness be your excuse to lash out why not be the change you see the need for?

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    • Lynda I think you need to look up the definition of mourning – all of this is part of that process. If people want to leave something, who are any of us to judge that? We all mourn and grieve in different ways. You’re going off on Alden, saying how he’s telling you ‘how to mourn’, but you’re doing the same thing. Let people do what they feel is best.

      I’m sorry you’ve had troubles in your life, and I’m sorry for Anthony. But the people responsible for doing this to him aren’t on this forum.

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    • Lynda, you obviously had/have a troubled life. Why don’t you try and help change things then. It might help with your anger and hate. And I’m being serious. You seem so full of hate. Then instead of sitting back, help make a change in your community. If you have lived this life then you know what people are going through. It must be so exhausting being so full of anger.

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    • Joan Warren Joan Warren says:

      As far as i see it everyone that knew these people and mother of the child are all GUILTY . Surely the mother knew what was going on with child , couch surfing with 16 month old . Cudos to mother if she is in nursing school .But honey when you have a child thats your first priority . If no one wanted to care for him , even aunt didnt step up . Well they threw him out garbage . Poor child can’t even comprend people Personal opinion

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    • Abra Shaw Abra Shaw says:

      I think its extremely sad and difficult. The life on a reservation is different than than here in the city. While I don’t agree with your view on the memorial site, I do absolutely believe that things need to be changed, I think native reserves need more resources and supports. I think if there was more resources available to the reserves, the violence would decline. Im not native, but I have friends that are and have studied the indigenous culture extensively in post secondary. Just agree to disagree on the way everyone mourns, as its a personal thing. I hope that this and the many other situations regarding reserves brings change!!!!!!!

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    • Why don’t you actually do something then ?? Why don’t you actually do something real for Anthony and others like him ! … My way of making a difference … I will and I do promise from now on to actually look at the next baby I see and really look to see if he or she is really a happy lil guy it really smiling ! Or is he or she shrinking away from people ! Does he or she need someone to speak up for he or she .. .. my grand son was bullied iin school for one and a half years .. the school fought me and said he was not beening bullied !! And so he came home bleeding and bruised time and time again ! I fought the system and they fought me back but now bcoz they were concern about my gson like they said they were ! Then one day he came home from school suspended bcoz the bully choked him to he was dizzy and another student had to pry the bully’s hands off of his neck ! But the school decided they were gunna turn the tables on him and blame him for it all ! Well trust me when I say ! I fought then and I fought hard and it was my own people who stood beside me and told them they were their to help my gson be heard ! Two elders who also were residential school Survivors ! .. I walked out if that school that day with my gson and we won bcoz we fought for what’s right and no matter what we didn’t give up ! And now my gson is once again happy and eager to go to school each morning ,n that’s how I try to make a difference ! But not once have I ever brought a dead baby a teddy bear ! That’s not how I fix my heart ! I fix things by standing up for what’s right and speak out when I see shit going on that needs speaking up for ! And many more people out there like me ! Who will speak up instead of pull out my cell and start recording! I don’t not have anything backwards ! Not one thing do I have backwards ! I also don’t believe in dead flowers either ! Dead flowers are exactly dead flowers and nothing more ! No life in dead flowers . Just like there is no life in teddy bears for a dead lil boy ! It actually makes me cry everytime I see that pile of toys ! Makes my heart bleed more for than lil guy but yes as you said ! He was failed by society and still is beening failed ! My people’s are a displaced people’s ! We were always and still are a race that people wanted dead ! It seems now we’re are taking it out on each other and that’s what’s sad ! If you want to make a difference for any lil child ?? Look at his parents first ! Do they look like they need a friend right then and there ! Do your heart strings start to sing when you see thier struggle ?? If so then right at that moment is when you can actually do something real !

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    • “It actually makes me cry every time I see that pile of toys.”

      Now you understand.

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    • It isn’t bitterness Karen Surry ! It’s call determination to survive and allow others to survive ! It’s not bitterness .. it’s reality … You also don’t know me so don’t tell me I am bitter ! Maybe at one time I did sit and feel sorry for myself bcoz I too was failed by the so called system and so called caring people ! But I will be the first one to tell anyone that there is hope but it’s not in people who can see anything for what it really is it just refuse to see it and look the other way ! A d it’s not only me I’m speaking about ! Every native person on this earth has been abused so called power trippers and toy givers ! It’s only away for them to lay down thier own selfishness there and get to walk away feeling comfortable that they have just something worth while ! No don’t call me bitter bcoz I say what I see going on ! Not what everyone wants to hear ! Not do I think I care about how you see me either bcoz you really don’t if your just gunna cllme bitter ! Why didn’t u message me and ask me instead ??? Karen surry ?? Why don’t u just ask me instead of call me bitter !

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    • One other thing I would like to ask you all who think placing these mountain of toys and teddy bears at death sites ?? Why is it then that the old camsel hospital doesn’t have a Mountain of toys that can reach the heavens ??? Huh ?? Why is that mountain of toys not there then if it actually fixed anything ??

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    • Alden gushnowski ! It makes me cry bcoz not bcoz I see so much love there ! I see other people’s guilt and I also cry bcoz I know those same people who have placed those toys there actually think that it was something worth while that they did and that makes there hearts better ! Lol no I don’t see things your way and never will ! Maybe if your mountains of toys actually did something real I would agree but as it stands those toys mean nothing to the dead baby not do they do anything for others bcoz all those people get to walk away a not have to deal with this child’s death not think about it and others like him ! That’s what makes me so sad that it makes me cry ! I cry for those people bcoz they don’t see anything for the reality it really is !

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    • Lynda, I can hear the LOVE and the frustration in what you are posting. It is clearly obvious that this is something that touches your heart deeply.

      I really believe that the passion I hear in your words could very possibly be used to help the people in your community. I don’t know what you do for a living but have you ever considered going into a position in child/social welfare? That profession really needs people like you to help relieve some of the strain on “the system”. These kids DESERVE someone like you to stand beside them, to help.

      Good for you for following up your words with actions​! Good for you to want to not just talk for change bit BE THE CHANGE!

      What a wonderful grandmother your grandson has to help him through life’s hills and valleys. What an incredible parent you are to your children in helping the raise their children, we all know it takes a village. What an incredible mentor you can be for people all around you, regardless of their heritage, faith, or skin color.

      Your words have truly touched me.

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    • Mal Esther Mal Esther says:

      I absolutely 100% disagree with people leaving these stuffed animals. I get that people mourn in different ways but they’re wasting resources such as money and toys that could go to children that are currently suffering. I think people are still capable of using common sense even in mourning. Where can they make the most impact? Leaving a stuffed animal to eventually end up in the landfill? Place a flower or a card if you like but really consider how much more you could accomplish by taking the stuffed animal somewhere else.

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    • I have bags full of stuffed toys. You can get them for a dollar or two at Dollarama. Pretty sure I can make room in my budget for that. And considering that people still smoke, drink, get speeding tickets, etc – those are wastes too.

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    • Lynda Desjarlais You don’t have a say in how I or anyone else gets to mourn. Mourning is a process. Visual reminders of WHERE it happened can help people understand the severity and reality of the situation. This isn’t just something that we see on the news. Its something that has happened in our community.

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