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Need relationship advice

What do I do. I love a woman who I recently found out she ended a relationship. I decided to give her some time to get over him, and then the other day she told me they have gotten back together.

My question is should I risk a friendship and her relationship by telling her how I feel. Or should I keep it to myself.

ANOTHER GREAT POST:  So stuck, please help
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24 Responses

  1. Sarah Smith Sarah Smith says:

    I wouldn’t bother. Her mind is set on him, so I think you’d be wasting your breath. There is no way out of the friend zone and you’ll probably just make things completely awkward if you say something about it now.

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  2. Jill Morin Jill Morin says:

    I yo-yoed with an ex for years, all while having feelings for someone else (now my fiancée). I know that’s wrong, obviously.

    My ex was super abusive and made me feel like I was disgusting and no one would ever want me other than him.
    I wish she would have said something to me. It may have given me the courage to leave, and could have saved me almost a year of abuse.

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  3. Its not appropriate at all. Definately keep it to yourself.

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  4. Nicole Keats Nicole Keats says:

    She may be settling. She might feel the same way you do and not want to risk it too for that same reason you are afraid. Take a risk, you don’t want to live not knowing and wondering what could have been… if your friendship is strong, it will survive.

    Don’t listen to the daft people who are writing things like “don’t waste your time” or “she isn’t worth it”, they don’t know how “worth it” she is to you… only you do. And they say you’re wasting your time? Look at Jill’s story…. sounds like she was worth waiting for and not a waste of time… just saying…. not everything is black and white people.

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  5. You only live once. Tell her! No regrets

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  6. I’d say go for it. If you really like her, then later down the road you may kick yourself for not speaking up, especially if the relationship fails again. My boyfriend confessed his feelings while the relationship I was in at the time was coming to an end. We were good friends and it didn’t affect that, we waited a bit before making anything official and now four years later we are still together.

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  7. Life is short. Unless she has a big fat Harry Winston on her finger I say go for it!

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  8. Tell her. The worst she says is her feelings aren’t mutual. But you will never know unless you go for it.

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  9. Hitting on someone in a relationship is always a stupid idea.

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  10. What’s the worst that can happen??? She’d say no she doesn’t feel the same….. may hurt… but now you know…. wondering can be torture.

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  11. Win Chan Win Chan says:

    Move on, don’t deal with anyone with exes or other men in their lives (aside from pure friendships). There is usually no net benefit of doing so.

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  12. Follow your heart. Make sure you know you might get your feelings hurt if she doesn’t feel the same. Good luck.

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  13. Kristy Hedin Kristy Hedin says:

    Dont , until he is totally out of the picture .

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  14. Tell her how you feel! What if she feels the same way.

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  15. Read your own post she went back to her ex if it even was a ex. She’s trying not to hurt you so take it as it is an move on.

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    • Jen Pratt Jen Pratt says:

      If she didn’t know he was an option, why would you say that she’s trying not to hurt him? Believe it or not, if you don’t directly tell someone how you feel, many people won’t know at all

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  16. Marie says:

    OOOOH-Love-Love-Love?

    Another one crying about Love

    What is Love for you fella? … rather… what kind of Love exactly do you feel for this person?
    Sex?
    Are you talking about Sex?
    Been in the kip with her already… ? L OOO V E … ???
    You need to explain yourself better… re: love …
    If the two of you have already slept together and you feel you’re in loooove… then you need to fix (actually you’d both need to fix) what is wrong with your life! If she wasn’t over a relationship and slept with you – then you deserve each other…. and if that’s what you’re all wrapped up about — sounds more to me like a little-pity-party-thingy that some people seek only to do for empty sleezy-sex! Then who’s to know what went on in your looooves mind, maybe she didn’t like you.

    People CRYING OUT LOVE! on this post/site ought to learn to get to know someone/that other person first – and that means ‘really get to know them first.’ (? hello!?)
    Then if for eg. your’ mutual liking turns into a mutual Loving [the kind of love I can only imagine that you OP are imagining] … then such relationship would more likely stand a chance. Love comes well after the liking.

    I love my family – I love my dog – I love flowers and I love a cold beer on a hot day.
    Many ways to use/express the word love.

    What kind of love are you talking about OP? … … … … Doah, What do I do … but ‘I loooove her’

    IMO; If you love “a woman, any woman as a Friend” – I don’t see any harm in telling her “you LOVE her as a FRIEND” = in other words, you value her friendship. If she happens to feel the same way [same kind of love] towards you… then you both have a good friend in one another.

    So my answer to you = “Leave well enough alone” Grab a fresh piece of liver, a fur mitt and get over it!!

    :)

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  17. I would keep it buttoned. If you do ANYTHING that may erode that relationship and don’t let it succeed or fail on its own merits you will likely live to regret it..

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  18. if she seems happy, keep it to yourself.

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  19. the first thing that comes to mind would be to find out what her views are on the subject… then take it very slowly to make sure that she considers things in a similar light as you do…

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