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Personal Life Venting / Question

Not really sure how to put this. Let’s just say family drama has been building for awhile. I don’t know where to start other then you don’t get to pick your family.

As soon as my brother had got married after his girlfriend getting pregnant, everything went downhill. We all absolutely adore the children even the one from a previous bf. Today there was a incident with their pitbull attacking my father as soon as they got there. There was a argument and my parents ended up leaving. A few hours later my brother posted a rant on his facebook page bashing my father. I ended up leaving a message saying he was much worse then our father could ever be, quite dangling his children in front of everyone that our father could die anytime and he could care less.. I’ve had it. Sick of them using the kids against everyone (their 10 and 12). If people don’t do what they want then it’s ‘your not going to see my children’ my parents take the kids the whole summer and every holiday for free and take care of them. My mother lives for taking care of them and is now beside herself with crying etc.

My father is waiting for surgery and could die at anytime he’s been told. Is this really how anyone would treat their parents?

I’ve lost all respect for my brother. He used to be a caring awesome guy who would give shirt off his back but as soon as he got married he couldn’t see us alone. He can’t do anything without her. He’s become so materialistic it’s sickening and shoves everything in everyone’s faces and let his wife push all of his friends out of his life simply because she dousnt like them. The girl they have together gets the short end of the stick she usually face times me crying. Her mother has always treated the other child better and calls the eldest ‘her baby’ she’s said a lot that she wishes she could just go live with grandma because ‘I know she loves me I don’t think mom does’ . I’m talking about a child that crys when she has to go home. I’m sorry but that’s just not normal, right?

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My brother is so whipped that he does whatever his wife wants but has these occasions where he phones mom upset because his wife hasn’t paid bills and he was finally able to get mail and found out she hasn’t told him something or like said the money he gives her to pay bills he finds out that it hasn’t gone to that. She’s always treated us like crap whenever we’ve gone to visit but simply to keep the peace we generally don’t say anything because he (bro) doesn’t either. I’m thinking this might be the final thing that’s broken relationship forever.

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I just beside myself, I keep thinking that brother I loved might come back or it’s not (our other brother died a few days after Christmas 2013).. Maybe one day he’ll wake up and be divorced. Her favorite saying is if he leaves her she’ll get the kids and everything. Meanwhile my niece is stuck in the middle. Just wish he’d grow a pair and be his own person instead of doing whatever she wants. That’s not a relationship.

I’ve read grandparents have no rights? I don’t know age kids get to decide for themselves where they want to be?

Honestly what would you do? I’m not fighting with him anymore I said my peace, no swearing, unfriended. Just had enough. My parents have been through enough last couple of years. Between having a child die, losing his job getting another, being in pain all time, having worry of could die anytime.. I think my father (and mother for that matter) Have been through enough these last couple years, they shouldn’t have to put up with being treated like crap by their own son for no reason.

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13 Responses

  1. Anna Hillary Anna Hillary says:

    In the courts a child can chose who they want to live with at the age of 13 the last time I heard anything.

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  2. She sounds like a winner. I’m sorry your brother is blind to her obvious ignorance and desire to be the shittiest person she possibly can be.

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  3. First of all….sounds like you the blame the wife for everything….including the brothers behaviour. Please. 2) sounds like the family communicates and rants and cries on all things social media. Please. 3) don’t go interfering in deciding where someone else kids are gonna live. If someone did that in regards to my kids…..me being a bitch would be the least of your worries.

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  4. In the courts the grandparents have rights

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  5. Sharon Swan Sharon Swan says:

    well there is not much that you can do except wash your hands of everything .. your brother has to step up to the plate and start paying the bills himself by cheque (or better yet online but DONOT give wife access to this information) then he knows they are paid … give the wife allowance to buy groceries and if children need clothing that will be done when he is home on the weekend .. will take more work on his part but it can be done …. as far as grandparents rights .. they do have rights . I am speaking from experience .. you go to the brownlee building and put a request in with them to appear in court asking judge to give you visitation rights to your grandchildren and they will have to accomodate that .. just phone the court house and tell them that you need somone to help fill out the forms for you and that they are over at the brownlee buliding kitty couner to the court house and they can look up the number for you … make the appointment and take to the courthouse and they will set a court date for you … (you get the papers at the court house main floor and in the very west corner) .. good luck to you in this ..

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  6. Maybe start with not putting your family drama online, all of you.

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  7. Yeah, was just thinking same thing. All families have dramas. Professionals are there to help not facebookland.

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  8. Nice of you to call them out like this where they can’t defend themselves, I’m sure this definitely is gonna help the situation. Its very unfortunate that such sweet innocent people who have never made mistakes like you and the rest of your family have such a truly evil couple like them in your family

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  9. Sounds like you don’t like the wife and so everything that is a minor irritation to you is blown out of proportion. Spouses and their offspring tend to travel together so if you want to see you brother on his own then you should just invite him out one on one. Wanting him to do things without her is selfish of you. Take a break from them and then start fresh, you don’t have to like her or love her but stop taking their relationship as a personal insult. He may very well feel the same about you.

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  10. Write a book lately?

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  11. Aaah the drama of family. It is meo an easy situation where you can make a cut and dry/black white decision. Family or not people involved in your life should make an attempt to make it an amicable situation just to keep peace and if that is not happening with one/both parties trying then it’s time to evaluate and make decisions that wil bring happiness and joy in your life. Family is not always blood relatives it is about who really goes the extra mile to make life enjoyable. Goodluck

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  12. Cheri Cheri Cheri Cheri says:

    you are only in charge of your behaviour and your life, not your brother’s life and marriage. Sounds like there needs to be some boundaries outlined and some communication. Counselling is definitely in order here. Get on with your life and ask to take the kids when you want to see them. You don’t need to see your brother and/or his wife to see his kids. These are separate relationships and you shouldn’t punish the kids for ALL the adults dysfunctional behaviours. Grandparents do have rights in court but they have to make an application to the court for visitation (if visitation is being denied); however, it is up to the individual judge whether or not to grant visitation rights to grandparents.

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  13. Not to stir the pot, but I’d be very hesitant to take absolutely everything a child says at face value… I’m not saying she’s lying, but she’s a child. Her perception of reality may be skewed a bit.

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